The lesson instructions reflect the teacher’s personality.  From a half page jotting to a ten page opus, we subs get our handover always from dedicated colleagues, but their shorthand has sometimes been amusing.

What they write is challenging enough, like the instruction to ‘discuss recycling’ with a one hour interval blocked out for that topic. It’s fun but you sure have to think on your feet.

But what is even more adrenalin pumping is what the teacher forgot to mention, those little daily interruptions and functions that great teachers consider so much a part of their particular class that they forgot to write them down.

It is routine and required to take attendance but there are about five ways to do it in the system and the teacher may not have happened to mention where she keeps the attendance list. Some use file cards per student and mark on them, some mark an X or check on a classroom sheet and some pencil in using HB only, a circle on a computer scanned attendance sheet and there are rules about what computers will not understand if you do it wrong.  In one school I am teaching 10 yes 10 classes of elementary music that day and taking attendance alone takes a good deal of the precious time. I envy the classroom teacher who knows the kids, and I kind of marvel at how fast teachers do get to know names of kids.

I am in a high school class where it is routine to ask to take attendance twice.One record goes to the office and one, on a separate sheet sits in the classroom for emergencies. One of the teachers I regularly teach for has a bright shiny even sparkly binder on her desk and her sub notes say ‘My attendance lives in the blue binder’. 

The teacher may have forgotten in her feverish flu attack to recall that today they are collecting funds for the field trip, forms for school photos, or magazine orders.  She may not have happened to mention the bell times, a critical little detail for knowing how detailed to make a lesson and how much work time to give.

She may have recalled that this is test day but forgotten to run off copies of the test so we have to do a mad scramble before the bell, at the photocopier.

She may have forgotten that today there is an assembly, a planned fire drill or that the music teacher is off so music class is postponed.  She may not have written down that the grade sixes are coming in at 11 to perform a brief play, that a parent aide will be turning up at ten wondering how she can help or that several of the kids are away at the grade 9 sailing trip, or getting early dismissal for the soccer game. She may have not even known that today kids would be called out at several points for photo retakes or to do individual reading tests.

Before Hallowe’en I guess I could have suspected that the kids might be dressed in costume, even when nobody told me, but it surprised me one time to see several of the teachers dressed as witches.  During pyjama day the principal came to my door for some reason and I noticed she too was in pyjamas. 

Twice Iwas at a school when it was ‘shave your head for cancer’ day. What the notes had not prepared me for was the noon hour assembly to cheer on the barbers and clients, or the excitement and cold in the afternoon of a bunch of students with suddenly bare heads. What the note did not mention either was how touching it would be to see kids willing to make this huge personal sacrifice to their appearance at a time when looking cool is everything – nobody told me today I might have to hold back tears.

The teacher I am replacing knows very well how to adjust the heat, where to find the VCR, how many new pencils the kids are permitted if they say they lost their old one, but I do not.  Subs in this vagueness, create an odd and professional demeanor of confidence, knowing or inventing, guessing and leaping at a solid policy that seems right, and doing the best we can.  What we do not do is look frazzled or upset as if the job has overwhelmed us. That is not permitted. We must improvise and be flexible. It’s tricky.

She may have forgotten that today is the Terry Fox run and all kids head outdoors, and you do too. She may have forgotten to mention in the phone call that today is pyjama day, bad hair day or bring a teddy bear day and that usually teachers take part. One time I arrived and all  staff was in evening dress. Do I stand out of what?

In the desk or on it are sometimes candies, jars for rewards and special stickers, stamps or other rewards and she obviously knows her system for doling these out and enforces it religiously. But she may not have mentionned it to you.

In university the professors really don’t care if you drink water or not, chew gum, nibble on a sandwich, or even turn up. At that level it’s all about the learning itself and you as a student are completely responsible for doing it. But the schools of course are working with littler people who need direction and the littler, the more direction.  Some kindergarten and early elementary teachers create security for the kids by being very predictable about their routines and woe betide the sub who walks in and does not use the blue sticky material but scotch tape when attaching the calendar date. The little kids notice immediately if you skipped counting the days with the counting sticks, if you forgot to sing the welcome song, or if the person who gets to go to the front of the line this week is not reminded of the privilege. One time the grade ones were printing a message and I noticed that some had had it pre-printed for them while others had not. At first I thought this was just an oversight of the teacher and I started to pitch in and print the message for the kids thus forgotten, but tears erupted. I realized not having it preprinted was a privilege I had just withdrawn.

In one grade one class I had taken attendance and then, as instructed chose a child to carry the list to the office. She immediately chose a friend to go with her. Why were they both going? It was apparently the rule. The same thing happened at an elementary school months later when a child asked to use the washroom, I said yes and suddenly I see the child leaving the room with someone else. I stopped them, oh I am so clever catching one sneaking out and it turned out the new school policy because of an intruder recently was to have all trips to the washroom done in partners. 

On blustery cold days it is such a relief to finally get inside the warm building, to realize you don’t have to outside there for at least 7 hours. And then you read the instruction that this is Winter Carnival day and you will be spending two hours helping kids unpack frozen milk cartons of ice to make a castle in the playground.  On fall days when it is cold but I am tough and can handle it, I run to the school, leaving my coat in the car. This has the immediate advantage to me that I won’t risk losing it if I have to relocate to several rooms. But once in a while when I pull off that trick I discover in the lesson plans that I am on outdoor supervision that day and will need that coat.

The teacher may have known  it was Field Day or Sports Day but may not have known what activity I’d be assigned outdoors, or thought to tell me I”d be out there maybe needing sunglasses, water or a hat.  But hey, we subs are flexible and truth be told, kids are even more so. There they are trying to do broad jumps when the wind keeps whipping out of place our start plank and you have to admire the way kids hang in there.

 In the secondary schools students are not going to cry if you miss something but they will quickly take offense if you don’t let them do what the regular teacher does.  Does she allow hats, allow listening on iPods, allow leaving the room to use the washroom without signing out?   Does she, as they claim, allow them to not use the seating plan, allow them to talk while working at their desks, allow them to do all tasks as group work? Does she let them get their coats before the bell, sneak down to the cafeteria to buy something if they missed lunch, or let them go early because they have to do patrols, go to a soccer match or be partners to a smaller kid to take the bus?  Short of teachers leaving subs book length instructions, the only real answer is for the sub to handle each request one at a time, be wary of cons and establish her own rules for the day.  It’s like that requirement of a church minister to be always deadly serious about live and yet have a keen sense of humor. We subs have to be kind trusting adults with kids but wary as snakes to those trying to put one over on us.  You never have to do the homework but everybody else does? Right. 

Occasionally students are so new to the game that they don’t even fake doing their work in a work period.  Some don’t even open their books and just sit chatting with friends. I sally over to them and make them open the books, watch as they dig through random papers trying to find the worksheet for today, and then patiently wait as they create some story or other about how they lost it, how they do it better at home, how they already did it or how they can’t do it today because their partner is away.  When it is not clear to me if these excuses are true or not, I advise them the best I can – well work on something. This is a work period.

The teacher in elementary classes especially for K-3 usually leaves very detailed plans, because little kids care need to feel secure. But she may say to ‘pick the kids up at the door’ and not mention which door and I’m flying around trying to find the door which could be the classroom door, though I doubt it, the lobby door or the outside door.  I have more than once been pretty sure which outside door, and been waiting calmly for the bell for them to enter and discovered, ah sigh, that I had to scramble half way across the building to the other door.

The computer has mentionned the nature of the assignment in a kind of ‘five words or less’ general category, like Secondary English, early literacy, Music. This designation is nearly always accurate but only in a general way. It doesn’t happen to mention that there is also one class of drama, that there is a  noonhour meeting of the debate club or that you will also be teaching the grade five girls a class in sex ed. It often does not mention that these classes happen in four different locations in the school.

I have arrived at a school for an 8AM start only to discover that today, as it happens, there is a late entry, at 9AM. 

I am given a seating plan for every class and it is great except that it is accurate for last September and several students have moved in or out now that it is April.

I am given a seating plan that is up to date and it is a great way to take attendance fast. The problem is that I am not clear on if the ‘north’ is my north or which wall, the front of back, is the start of the seating picture.

It is the  norm really to find out at last minute some new detail to the plan, that this is penny collection day, that there is a new person as ‘star of the week’ and the posterboard has not been changed yet to indicate it.

In many of the secondary schools there is a rotating four, five or six day schedule that operates regardless of day of the week. I enter the classroom knowing what date it is but not always what ‘day’ it is and have to scramble.  At the big high schools with long long periods of 80-95 minutes each, the main change for these ‘day’ cycles is that you may see the same class each day but the order differs. The critical nugget of information the teacher has to have told you then is not just what classes you see today but in what order so you don’t suddenly start teaching a fantastic lesson in grade 9 math to the grade 8s.

In the junior highs many teachers teach the same lesson to three, four, five even sometimes eight classes and how they keep track of each one is its own logistic miracle.  The important nugget of information on those lesson plans is not that this is grade 8 science since all her classes are grade 8 science, but which grade 8 science class this is. Some schools use numbers to differentiate them, such as 8-1, 8-2, 8-3. Some use letters like 8A, 8B, 8C.  Does it matter? Yes. These groupings sometimes are also assembled specifically to make sure students of similar skills are together. In the French immersion class it matters a lot if the grade 7 math class is a late immersion one where they will be faltering in French and need lots of help, or a continuing immersion one where they can handle the whole lesson in French.  These little details are coded in immediately by the designation of which class this is. But the teacher may have forgotten to tell me. 

If she has, it is quite intimidating to have 30 vivacious kids tromp into the room and they’re looking at you askance like “Who are you?” and you’re rifling through  your notes thinking back “Who are you?”

She very likely did not happen to mention whose birthday it was, who was having their last day of school today or what other spontaneous celebrations the students will be expecting, what she does if a tooth falls out.

I become like the old time mother “Just wait till she comes back”.

Sometimes my improvisation is for me a real source of joy. In a music class we are to create rhythms and I think, hey why not, and have them dream up rhythms not just with their hands or pencils but also with their mouths making clicks and grunts and hums and whistles. Once to teach the grade 7 math class about averages I lined eight of them up in height order at the front of the room and discussed trouser lengths. Once to talk about transfer payments from the federal government to the provinces I lined 13 students up at the front of the room to each make a case of why the province or territory they were from deserved more money. One girl from Newfoundland said they were running out of fish and needed government subsidy but the girl representing BC piped up, “Well we have fish. We can send you some”

I am at a school where a load of newspapers is plunked outside the classroom door just before class begins.  There are certain students who apparently distribute it around the school and I have to find them.

The routines of teachers interest me. Some have the kids put their chairs up at the end of the day, balanced upside down on the desk so the caretaker can sweep easily. Others do this only on Fridays. Some have the students put their indoor shoes on the desk, others put them in the hallway above their coat hook and of course in the high schools nobody leaves anything behind so if a binder is left back, it’s unclear how to get it to the owner.

Some of the last-minute assignments call for a more than usual dose of on the spot thinking and sometimes a strong hand.  A class that is told it can have a free work day, with a sub, generally will not work well and I cringe when the lesson plan indicates this as the key instruction. One time the teacher had phoned in the plan “This class pretty well knows what to do and pretty well takes care of itself’.  It may very well be true when she’s there. But these are kids and I am a sub. I give them rules and structure, often doing an introduction to the lesson they are on, from my particular point of view, something to add to the lesson and to make sure they know I expect them to focus on the topic. I was young once.

One time I arrived at school, without having been told it was Retro Day. Everyone apparently was to dress in 70s style.  No problem for me at least. I dress 70s style.

Finally I am not out of place.

Improvising is fun and I am kind of honored when a teacher colleague trusts that what she has forgotten to mention or what she did not know about today’s events, I can handle.  I generally can actually.

Sometimes the teacher has not forgotten to tell me what the kids are doing but I begin to suspect she omitted a few key details out of political correctness. Like the time I am in a grade 3 class and am told they are to do ‘seed art’. As it turns out this involves thekids sprinkling seeds onto paper in the shape of stars or circles but really what we get is a huge mess, seeds not on paper, seeds on sleeves, arms, and of course the floor.  I think she knew this might be messy but hey, why spoil the surprise.

One time the little grade ones were working on a number sheet and busily at their desks counting and filling in answers. I figured that we could use some background noise, why not, and I found the teacher had a CD of songs already in the machine. I turned it on, softly just as background noise and to my great delight all the little kids, as they kept working, started to sing along.  Their little voices knew all the words and they cut and pasted and joyfully sang as they worked.  It felt like I was living on a movie set.

 
One of the most gifted kindergarten teachers I know of has songs for many classroom routines and though she does not always mention every song in her lesson plans, she gives an outline and sure enough the kids take it from there. I put on the ‘clean up ‘ song and the kids rush around, busily singing it as they wipe tables, clean floors, push in chairs. It is nearly unbelievable how well they do this and I think “Now that’s a teacher”.

Any teacher knows that the unpredictable is the norm with kids. You just never know what crisis kids will bring, what sudden emergency the weather or bussing can create or what other school activities will take kids from the classroom every ten minutes all day long.  Subs have to be flexible partly because teachers in classrooms have to be flexible, that is to say not go stark raving mad pulling out your hair if you are interrupted in your plans yet again.

One of the most unpredictable items is how  long a lesson will take.  You can give a quiz but  not be sure how long the kids will take to do it. You can present a lesson or worksheet, lead a discussion or have a panel talk but there is no real knowing when the thing will just have found its natural end.  Classroom teachers have many ways of handling sudden free time for the kids and often just move ahead to the next subject of the day in elementary or they let the kids read or do the regular artwork or whatever privilege has been set up for such circumstance. But subs are not often told what the routine is and, not knowing, have to get very good at filling time. It’s not killing time per se because what we do with this extra interval is also supposed to be educational and some creative lessons have come out of it. But one of the reasons subbing requires an experienced teacher not so  much a novice, is knowing how to smoothly move into this free time interval and use it without mayhem erupting  Some subs  use games and have a repertoire of memory or charade, drama, improvisational or word play games in their repertoire. What I’ve found does not work is simply giving the kids ‘free time’ because there will always be a few who just abuse the privilege.    Worst case scenario is of course if the students, sensing there is a block of unassigned time, try to trick the sub into thinking they are allowed privileges then that they are not like leaving early or working in the hall which tends to become farther and farther from sight.

I used to have in my car a box of filler activities, even some photos from the New Yorker of story-starter topics for drama or narration, and I had in this box also some files of word games. Now I have simplified. I carry a loose leaf binder of notes and some are news articles of recent controversial issues for discussion, enigmatic 3D and optical illusion paintings to discuss or word games.  I have particular fondness for some games with the kids, memory games as we sit in a circle and play “I pack my trunk’, rhyming games, I spy, or number games of elimination like in Survivor.  Often laughter is let loose in the room as the kids get very animated with these games and since the assigned lesson is done this always seems bonus to me and occasionally the kids seem to think of it as pretty fun too.

Teachers leave their notes in a kind of shorthand but not completely standardized. On one lesson plan it said “Stu will read chapter 3 of the  novel” and I was looking around in the class list for which was was Stuart of Stewart.  Only later does it occur to me Stu means students. The note said “Oral presentation of ‘Be careful’ – Cherry.  I look around for a binder, possibly cherry covered and discover this presentation is in fact by a student named Cherry.

The note will often use a code such as TA is in room 305, T supervision from 12:20 to 1, or send kids to office with their IPPs.  Part of subbing is knowing now just the general teacherese of the system but this school’s version of it.  TA is teacher advisory class which in some schools is called tutorial, and in some homeroom. In phys ed class I am told to have the kids do crab crawls though I have no idea what that might look like and neither apparently do they. I improvise, down on the floor myself, which is why when teaching I never wear skirts.

As we subs get more experienced we get a kind of demeanor, maybe like a war vet, and we figure we can handle nearly anything.  It is a dangerous thought of course and tempts fate. But you just never know. One time I was teaching kindergarten when I heard a shriek and suddenly the classroom rabbit scurried across the floor, having escaped his cage.

There are often little details that when forgotten seem very big. We are out of chalk- where does she store it? The whiteboard markers have all gone dry. Where do I get new ones?  Never wanting to be the king who cancelled a whole battle for lack of a shoe for his horse, I realize the show must go on. But I have improvised quickly, using markers on large paper,  pulling display boards over near where I am talking, making charts even out of poster paper from back cupboards.

The flexibility we need as subs also extends to technology, to working things well and to also working with what is half-broken. Don’t use VCR number 3, this remote control doesn’t work, the second set of  Venetian blinds will not pull down and don’t try it, this window is jammed, the bank of lights above the back corner is not working, the hole in the ceiling is not a problem because caretakers are fixing the  heating. These are little nuggets of information not usually remembered to be written down. I have over a lunchhour been known to climb on desks and ledges trying to reattch and tape back a pull-down blind that had detached, and spent many minutes emptying or trying to fix pencil sharpeners, staples and paper punches that have jammed. I have the cuts to prove it.

There is a new dance show competition on TV, So You Think You Can Dance? It gets huge audiences and top ratings because it genuinely picks ordinary people from around the country who have some dancing skill and teaches them to dance another few dance styles far  from their original repertoire. Subbing is like that  And the qualifications are quite similar.  You have to have versatility, some athleticism, make an effort, make fresh original moves and have good form and a great personality.  We have to do the quickstep, hip hop to the directions, pop and salsa to whatever today’s directions ask. 

One time, literally.  I was teaching a group of traditional learning students in music and dance class. They were studying different cultures such as the Highland fling.  Hey why not, I thought and I tried to demonstrate these and the kids imitated.  They had studied Japanese martial arts move and though I’m not too clear on any I acted out what I assume are a few like lunging, from watching my daughter’s tae-kwon do class. This lunging actually surprised me at how much it pulled my arm muscles but it was kind of fun and the kids circled around the room also lunging and laughing. Then we were discussing Russian dancing where the dancer crouches and shoots out their legs straight forward. Again I thought this would be fun to demonstrate and so I tried. As I was crouched down there I tried to shoot my front leg out without tipping over and an incredibly sharp pain shot through me as I half fell forward. I recovered some of my dignity quickly urging the kids to now try it though privately I was nursing what seemed like it might be a twisted bowel that would kill me imminently. It didn’t.

Many is the time in elementary phys ed I have tried to demonstrate the skill being taught, a basketball layup, volleying the ball over the net, catching the bean bag as I twirled, twirling the hoola hoop, only to misfire and laugh.  It is only by fluke I make it but the kids see I am trying and that  has to count. Permission to try and fail I suppose.

One day in deep winter I had not been told that today we were going to take the students to the skating rink by bus. I hd to help 30 kids put on skates, sit in a cold rink without my gloves, try to remember which ones were my kids so I could cheer them on and find them later,  and then help them take off their skates.   All in a day’s work.

We subs have to be flexible. We also do windows.